THE INCREDIBLE RISE OF A GORBALS GANGSTER by COLIN MACFARLANE

Author:COLIN MACFARLANE [MACFARLANE, COLIN]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-10-24T20:00:00+00:00

Chapter 32

PISH

Johnny mulled over his problems for a couple of days. What the hell was he going to do about the Lorraine and baby situation? How was he going to deal with the McCoy vengeance squad? Also, his father had turned up, out of the blue, with some cock-and-bull story about his cruise ship having engine trouble.

He realised he was surrounded by lies and deceit. It was just past 8pm and he was walking down his tenement stairs, armed as usual with his hammer tucked into the waist of his trousers. How he loved his hammer! At times it had been a life saver getting him out of scrapes that could have left him a defeated man if he had not resorted to using it quickly and effectively. As he neared the ground floor he could hear the sound of men’s voices and the sound of heavy urination.

Sure enough, two drunk men were pishing up his close. Johnny shouted to them, “Hey boys don’t pish up ma close, use the back court. Some poor wee woman has got tae clean aw your pish up.”

One of them, a fat scruffy looking man in his 50s, zipped his fly up and said, “Sorry about that pal, we were bursting and when you’ve got tae go, you’ve got tae go!” Johnny replied instantly, “Ah know but dae me a favour, pish somewhere else in the future.” The other man, in his 40s, wearing a pair of thick-rimmed glasses, was far more intoxicated than his friend. He sort of staggered towards Johnny shouting, “We’ll pish where we want, ok?” Johnny pulled out his hammer, “Well if ah see ye here again, you’re gonnae get this.” The fat guy was taken aback. There was no way having a pish was worth having a hammer over the head. He pulled his partner in crime away shouting, “Come on, Bobby, let’s get to fuck oot o’ here.” But Bobby was far gamer, far drunker than his friend.

“Ah’ll go when ah’m ready, no’ when ah’m told tae. That hammer disnae frighten me a bit, ah used tae be in the army you know.”

“Aye, the fucking Salvation Army,” Johnny retorted. At first he had thought of giving the two men a quick doing but there was something in their brave demeanour he liked. Two middle age men still as game as fuck! He always admired old guys who were still game. He just wished that he would be like that when he eventually submerged into middle age. Nevertheless he raised his hammer and said, “Ok boys, are you going or what? Or dae ye want me tae knock the fucking daylights out of you?”

The fat guy sobered up, saying to his pal, “For fuck’s sake, Bobby, ah don’t think he’s bluffing.” They made off into the street with Bobby shouting, “He disnae scare me, ah fought tougher men when ah was in the Highlanders.” It was a brief interaction, but Johnny believed they had got the message, they would not be pishing up his close again.

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